Preface

Breaking: Local Principal Weaponizes Small Child for Fun and Profit
Posted originally on the Archive of Our Own at http://archiveofourown.org/works/43366692.

Rating:
General Audiences
Archive Warning:
No Archive Warnings Apply
Category:
Gen
Fandom:
僕のヒーローアカデミア | Boku no Hero Academia | My Hero Academia
Relationship:
Kayama Nemuri | Midnight & Midoriya Izuku, Midoriya Izuku & Shuuzenji Chiyo | Recovery Girl, Midoriya Izuku & Snipe, Kan Sekijirou | Vlad King & Midoriya Izuku, Midoriya Izuku & U.A. Faculty
Character:
Yamada Hizashi | Present Mic, Midoriya Izuku, Nedzu (My Hero Academia), Kayama Nemuri | Midnight, Shuuzenji Chiyo | Recovery Girl, Snipe (My Hero Academia), Kan Sekijirou | Vlad King, U.A. Faculty (My Hero Academia), Aizawa Shouta | Eraserhead
Additional Tags:
Mentor Nedzu (My Hero Academia), Chaotic Nedzu (My Hero Academia), Nedzu Training Midoriya Izuku, Nedzu is a Little Shit (My Hero Academia), Midoriya Izuku is a Ray of Sunshine, Midoriya Izuku is a Nerd, Smart Midoriya Izuku, Aunt Kayama Nemuri | Midnight, Protective U.A. Faculty (My Hero Academia), Parental U.A. Faculty (My Hero Academia), Competition, Pre-Canon, Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, Married Aizawa Shouta | Eraserhead/Yamada Hizashi | Present Mic, Aizawa Shouta | Eraserhead and Yamada Hizashi | Present Mic Adopt Midoriya Izuku, Kid Midoriya Izuku, Quirkless Midoriya Izuku, Guns, POV Alternating
Language:
English
Series:
Part 18 of Breaking: Local Couple Obtains Child
Stats:
Published: 2022-12-07 Words: 2,327 Chapters: 1/1

Breaking: Local Principal Weaponizes Small Child for Fun and Profit

Summary

Semi-annual meeting day at U.A. is a semi-annual drag. Not to worry, Nedzu has the solution!

Who wants to challenge a small child?

Notes

Breaking: Local Principal Weaponizes Small Child for Fun and Profit

Nedzu is up to something. Hizashi can tell.

It’s the semi-annual meeting/parent-teacher conference nightmare day. The day where, instead of just having parent-teacher conferences after school like a normal institution, Nedzu cancels classes entirely so the staff can have all day meetings and discussions and planning sessions for the rest of the year and then throws in some parent-teacher conferences in the evening for fun.

It’s a massive day and something tells Hizashi there’s more to it this time.

They brought Izuku with them. For some reason his school took the same day off even though they won’t be doing parent-teacher conferences for a while yet.

Nedzu seemed perfectly happy with the arrangement.

And there lies the real reason Hizashi just knows that Nedzu’s up to something. He wanted Izu to come with. He can concoct excuses about squeezing in an extra tutoring session in all he wants, Hizashi knows there’s something more sinister going on.

He focuses on the warmth of his coffee, nice stuff for today since Nedzu does have a heart, and closes his eyes for a moment. Nothing to do but wait and see, if nothing else he trusts Nedzu enough to know he wouldn't intentionally hurt Izuku.

“Hello staff!” Nedzu pops up to stand on the table.

“Ugh…”

“We have a lot on the agenda today so I won’t take up too much time! I know this isn’t a particularly fun day so! I’ve added some extra incentives!”

That can’t be good.

“I’m sure you all know Izuku-kun.”

That gets some of the staff to perk up. Not many of them have met him per say, but everyone’s seen him around, and Hizashi is fully aware that all of them think he’s adorable.

Izuku pops up hesitantly from behind Nedzu, not quite confident enough to sell the entrance. It doesn’t really matter though. Nemuri coos at him and he turns bright red.

“I’ve been tutoring Izuku-kun for a short time now and he’s a wonderful student!”

The child in question is probably about half a compliment away from trying to hide under the table again.

They’re working on it.

“As a challenge to you to liven up today I have given Izuku-kun a weapon!”

Shouta straightens sharply from Hizashi’s side.

“Not to worry Aizawa-kun, it’s perfectly harmless.”

Hizashi feels him slowly slump back down.

“Each of you has a scheduled meeting sometime today to meet with him, should you emerge unscathed from this meeting I will give you one of my tutoring sessions! You may take the opportunity to teach Izuku-kun one of your many skills, within reason and provided he and his guardians approve of course.”

Hizashi can feel the room harden with determination from all sides.

“What are we supposed to do in this meeting?” Hizashi doesn’t catch who asks but he’s certainly interested in the answer.

“You will be using the meeting to propose what you would teach if given the opportunity! For the sake of fairness Aizawa and Yamada will not be participating." Hizashi pouts slightly at that, he wanted to see what Izu came up with. "Any other questions?” Hizashi can see the glint in his eye that seems to just scream you’re going to regret not asking more. “Very well! The schedule is on the door, our first all staff meeting starts in 30 seconds! I’ll see you there!”

With that, Nedzu hops off the table and into Shouta’s scarf. Hizashi stands and gives Izu an encouraging smile as he leaves.

-

Nemuri is going to win this!

She is going to win and spend some time bonding with her adorable little nephew.

She’s been dying to spend more time with him and Shouta and Hizashi have been denying her! She knows it’s probably hard to get an abused kid adjusted and she has been busy with that one underground case Detective Tsukauchi seems so worried about all of a sudden but she hasn’t even had time to make the cookies she promised him!

Ugh, she just wants to hang out with her nephew!

She peeks in the door to find Izuku swamped behind a desk, looking even smaller than normal behind the huge wooden surface.

He straightens up on seeing her and gives her a nervous smile.

“H-hi Kayama-san.”

“Hello Izuku!” She grins, eyes darting around looking for the promised weapon.

Finding no sign of any treachery she takes a seat in the provided chair in front of the desk.

“So, how have you been? I haven’t gotten to see you much lately!”

“Um, I’ve b-been good. I, um, Aizawa-san took me and Tsu-chan and ‘Toshi to the h-hero museum recently.”

“Really? That’s great! Who’s Tsu-chan and ‘Toshi?” She grins, her little nephew has friends from the sound of it! Good.

“M-my friends. Um, they’re great. I m-met ‘Toshi a long t-time ago and I helped Tsu-chan r-rescue a frog…”

Nemuri grins even wider, even if she doesn’t win, she’s getting some great bonding time out of this!

“...And her q-quirk is s-so cool! I think-” Nemuri doesn’t hear him finish, some well-honed instinct is screaming at her. She ducks reflexively.

A foam bullet passes inches from her head.

She hears the second one coming, aimed for where she’s ducked and throws herself out of the way.

A third and fourth aim for the most likely places she would have dodged to but luckily, Nemuri is just a little out of range.

She gives Izuku a savage grin.

“Almost had me there kid, smart move waiting until I got comfortable.”

He pouts, actually pouts! Oh, she could just smoosh his cute little cheeks.

Boundaries, Nemuri, boundaries.

“T-thanks, um, our time is a-almost up. I m-made cookies for everyone, um, you can have one, even though you d-dodged all my bullets.”

“Cookies? From my favorite little nephew? Oh course!”

She snatches one up and takes a bite. There’s something special about homemade baked goods that just makes her smile. The cinnamon is a nice touch too.

“It’s great! I’m gonna bug Shouta and Hizashi to let us hang out more often!”

Nemuri leaves the room in triumph. She won! Not only that! She got to spend time with her favorite little kid! Great day!

-

Chiyo doesn’t much care for Nedzu shenanigans. She doesn’t have much interest in trying to figure out what he’s playing at, she is much too old for any nonsense.

However, Izuku was a very polite child when she saw him for his checkup despite how terrified he was and she won’t disappoint him by not showing up.

Just because she has no interest in playing along with Nedzu doesn’t mean she’ll upset a child.

She shuffles over to the chair laid out in front of his borrowed desk and smiles. He looks much better than the first time she saw him, there’s some fat on his bones. Those youngsters seem to be doing a half decent job feeding him, good.

“Hello Izuku-kun, how have you been feeling?”

“Um, I’ve been a-alright Shuuzenji-sensei. Thank you.”

“Good. I suppose I should try to sell you on my skills hmmm?”

He giggles a little and nods.

“If I win I’ll teach you some basic first aid. Too many young heroes these days don’t even know how to fashion a tourniquet properly, it’s ridiculous! I won’t have any students under my care so uninformed.” She nods decisively and is pleased when he nods seriously back.

She explains a few necessary first aid skills and why she thinks everyone should know how to do them. Izuku writes quite vigorously in his notebook. She gets hit with the first little foam bullet that flies at her and accepts his very polite apologies.

“Would y-you like a cookie before you g-go Shuuzenji-sensei? I’ve been t-trying to learn.”

She smiles. “A trade then,” and hands him one of her candies.

He lights up and she takes one.

It’s a lovely cookie.

-

Snipe is loving whatever this scheme is! He isn’t sure is Nedzu is playing at anything beyond giving the kid experience, but Izuku’s a cute kid and he bets he’d be a good shot.

Not to mention Aizawa would probably hate it! Spectacular!

There will be one winner here and it will be Snipe! The great sharpshooter!

He enters the room cautiously. After all, there’s no telling what this kid came up with.

“Hello S-Snipe-san!”

“Howdy kid! Have ya ever been shooting before?”

He pulls another chair over and clocks the calculating expression that appears in his eyes. So, he was right.

There’s something that needs him sitting there.

A good try but he’s been a hero long enough not to trust something as obvious as a clear shot at a stationary target.

“I h-haven’t.”

“Great! I win and I’ll have you hitting bullseyes easy as anything.”

“Th-that’s a strong s-statement Snipe-san.”

“Sure it is, but I've been a teacher long enough to be confident. Not to mention, I've got an eye for these things.” He taps at his mask.

Izuku hums in thought.

He answers questions and explains a few concepts.

He’s halfway through answering a very interesting question about his quirk when he hears the slight screeching of metal.

He snaps to attention.

His hat is wet.

He glances up.

The cover to the vent above his head is hanging by a string.

He takes his hat off and finds bits of pink rubber sticking to it.

A water balloon.

“Ah shucks, you got me kid!”

Izuku giggles at his turn of phrase and nods.

“I-I knew at l-least one of you wouldn’t f-fall for the ch-chair.”

“Am I at least the first one?”

“Y-yeah.”

“Hah! I’ll be sure to hold that over ‘em.”

He stands to leave.

“Oh! Would you like a c-cookie Snipe-san? I made them y-yesterday.”

He stops to examine them and slumps a little.

“I’d love to kid, but I’m allergic to cinnamon.”

“Oh, that’s alright. S-sorry, I don’t have anything else. I’ll have to r-remember that for n-next time.”

“I’ll be looking forward to it! See ya Izuku-kun.”

“Bye Snipe-san.”

-

Sekijiro is suspicious.

There’s no way a child taught by Nedzu is to be trusted.

There’s no way a child parented by Aizawa isn’t a horrible gremlin.

Yamada isn’t so bad but also… he did marry Aizawa so he’s also suspect.

There’s no way a child so heavily connected to those three isn’t a problem.

He’s not going to let his guard down.

No way.

Not happening.

Even if he is kind of cute.

And asks so many questions about his quirk.

And isn’t creeped out by it.

And doesn’t even blink at the blood.

He won’t let his guard down!

It’s all an illusion.

He’s such a polite child though…

And so earnest and insightful…

Sekijiro blocks all the projectiles with his quirk and laughs heartily at the put out look the kid takes up.

He takes a cookie and heads out.

Izuku is a pleasant child, despite his associates, Sekijiro wouldn’t mind spending more time with him.

-

Shouta glares at Nedzu from his place across the table.

He isn’t actually upset about this, Izuku seemed very excited about it when they got lunch together. He’d just like a little more warning next time.

He may also be slightly miffed about being excluded, sure he knows Izuku better than the rest of the staff excluding Hizashi, that doesn’t mean he doesn’t want to see what he came up with.

He knows Izuku’s clever. He really wants to know how well he does against pro-heroes.

Nedzu ignores him.

Shouta softens when Izuku makes his own entrance and stands next to Nedzu, he’s less nervous than this morning. Good, no one screwed up too terribly.

“Now, for what I’m sure you’ve been waiting for…”

Nedzu turns to Izuku who whispers something.

Nedzu cackles.

Izuku pouts.

“We have a winner!”

Nedzu pauses for dramatic effect, Shouta sweeps the room with his eyes.

Nemuri looks awful smug, a couple others look confident as well, Vlad for one.

“Congratulations Snipe!”

“Huh?”

“What!?”

“Snipe!?”

“Me!?”

“How did that happen?”

Nedzu looks smug.

“Would you like to explain Izuku-kun?”

“Um, I, uh, I poisoned the cookies.” He rushes out.

“What!? But-”

“They’re not actually poisoned!” He hurries to clarify.

Nedzu taps the table for order.

“I said I gave Izuku-kun a weapon, I never said what it was.” He looks unfairly smug, and a little proud.

Shouta is a little impressed, no one wants to turn down a homemade cookie from an adorable child.

So why did Snipe turn it down? He narrows his eyes in Snipe’s direction. He hopes, for his sake, that he was polite about it.

“Wait, so how’d I win then? Ya still got me with the water balloon.”

“T-technically Nedzu-sensei only gave me one w-weapon, everything else was a d-distraction.”

Shouta can see Snipe light up with excitement.

He narrows his eyes again.

That’s not good.

“Yeehaw, I’m gonna teach ya how to shoot!”

“No.”

“C’mon Aizawa, I promise I’ll do a bunch of gun safety.” He whines.

“Absolutely not.”

“You’re no fun.”

BONUS:

Izuku bounces in place lightly.

He’s going to learn!

It’s so exciting!

Snipe-san is so cool! His quirk isn’t physical and he doesn’t rely on it all the time! He’s great!

Izuku was a little disappointed that he’d lost Nedzu-sensei’s challenge, but he was right. It was an important learning opportunity! Besides, he only lost because he didn’t plan for Snipe-san’s allergies, he won’t make the same mistake twice.

He vibrates a little with excitement when Snipe-san arrives.

It’s so exciting!

“Alright then, I’m sure you’re excited but first we gotta talk about safety. Mostly, cause it’s important, but also because I’m about 90% sure Aizawa’s plannin’ to kill me if I don’t. So, rule number one is ya never want to point a gun someplace ya don’t want to shoot it…”

Izuku takes out his notebook and absorbs all he can.

He’s gaining skills! And knowledge!

It’s amazing!

Afterword

End Notes

Aw, how precious! the little one has realized people think he's cute!

Aah, look out! the little one is exploiting his cuteness for personal gain!

Izuku picked his own weapon out, Nedzu told him to come up with something and Izuku thought about it very seriously. He had plenty of planning and prep time. Nedzu made sure he was comfortable with it ahead of time and thought the poisoning idea was very entertaining. Hizashi helped with the cookies of course, Izuku didn't tell him what they were really for.

thanks for reading!

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